Rambling Serenity

Back in the day, when God knows when, people’s parents decided who their children would marry. Today, just having your parents like who you’re dating will cause some to break up with them. But prearranged marriage actually had some things going for it, and I think eHarmony picked up on it!

Back then, parents chose their children’s mates primarily to secure or increase their fortunate by legally joining another wealthy family. Marrying for money is never a good thing, but if you think about a parent-child relationship, it’s easy to believe that a parent would take more things into consideration then just the money of their child’s mate.

1. Your parents want to see you happy.
2. Your parents know your core values and the things you like or dislike.
3. (And I would think that if you knew your parents were going to choose a mate for you…) You’d tell them the key qualities you’d like in a mate.

Today, when we date we normally go off of physical and material attraction. The ones with the best looks, biggest house, and nicest car get a leg up over those with the great personality, giving spirit and best-friend qualities. We jump in bed and then jump the broom with the first person who can sustain our physical attraction and then realize later that they don’t have the foundation to sustain a healthy relationship…and then divorce occurs.

If we approached relationships logically instead of emotionally, wouldn’t we end u with both? A person who can provide for us, comfort us and think along the same lines as us would win our hearts with time even if they didn’t possess all the material glamour that society has made so important today. And that’s how eHarmony approaches matchmaking.

Think about two people lost on an island together or even two college students put into a room together to be roommates. It’s not always a 100% guarantee, but 9 times out of 10, when you have to be with someone for an extended amount of time, you at least try to make it work. And if luck has it that you two can relate to one another on a moral level, you become close friends, best friends and sometimes lovers. With eHarmony, like arranged marriages, it isn’t luck…it’s damn near a guarantee.

eHarmony learns your values through extensive questionnaires that paint a clear picture of just who you are at the core. Looks and material possessions are of little importance. Just like parents did during the era of arranged marriages, you get matched with people who meet you head on as a logical fit. And though that may sound like a bit of a turn off at first, how can you resist falling in love with someone who meets you on every level in the “important” areas of life and love?

You get your list of approved matches and of course society has taught us to scan through for the best looking one to contact first. At least with eHarmony you know your success rate is high with everyone on that list, whereas in the outside world making attraction the most important factor can often become the only factor you’re happy with in the relationship.

Am I crazy or do you see where I’m coming from with this? Please leave your comments below.

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